Category Archives: health

Diet, Family, Fitness, health, healthy living, My Favorite Things, Recipes, Uncategorized

Mind Blowing Barbacoa

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BARBACOA

Totally simple to throw together in the morning, this barbacoa recipe is going to transform your Taco Tuesday’s forever. 

TOTAL TIME: 6 HOURS 20 MIN

PREP TIME: 20 MIN

COOK TIME: 6 – 8 HOURs

INGREDIENTS:

  • 3 lbs chuck roast (fat trimmed), cut into 2-inch chunks (or you can cheat and use pre-cut stew meat like I do)
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 2 chipotles in adobo sauce, chopped (or more to taste – I highly recommend more)
  • 1 small white onion, finely chopped (about 1 cup)
  • ¼ cup pickled jalapeños chopped with juice
  • ¼ cup fresh lime juice
  • 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
  • 3 bay leaves
  • 1 Tablespoon ground cumin
  • 1 Tablespoon dried oregano
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • 1 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1/4 tsp ground cloves
  • 1/2 cup beef stock

DIRECTIONS:

Combine all ingredients in the bowl of a slow cooker. Stir to combine. Cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours, or on high for 3-4 hours.   When beef is tender and falls apart easily, shred remaining chunks with a fork.

Remove the bay leaves.  Grab your favorite tortillas and load up the barbacoa.  Top with your favorite toppings (like slaw, radish, avocado, fresh jalapeños, cilantro…..I think you feel me).

If not using immediately, refrigerate the barbacoa beef with its juices in a sealed container for up to 5 days. Or freeze it for up to 3 months.

Diet, health, healthy living, RoadWarrior, Spirit, Travel

Rethinking the Rules….

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When I started RoadWarriorFit 5 years ago, one of the very first posts I wrote was on Guardrails.  The rules that help to keep you on track and keep you from careening off of the road.

Over the years, my rules have continuously evolved.  I eat a lot less carbs now than I did when I wrote the original, portion control has become a big part of my routine and the workouts have become much more disciplined.  So since I have not posted in quite a while (Facebook Live has somewhat taken away the need for the traditional blog post) – I thought I would mark my return to the written word with a revisiting of the RoadWarriorFit rules for traveling while focusing on health.

Rule #1: The 5 P’s

This is the number one rule for a reason.  Go in to your travel with a plan.  Know when you have the time to fit your workout in.  Know if you are going out with clients and need to accommodate for that indulgence.  Plan for prioritizing your own health.  And if you are still wondering what the 5 P’s mean – Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

Rule #2:  Travel Like a 2 Year Old

Do you have toddlers?  Have you had toddlers?  Have you ever seen anyone travel with toddlers?  What is the one thing you would never have traveled without – a snack bag.  That magic bag that the parents could dive in to anytime anyone gets a bit fussy.  Think the same way.  Bring your own.  Pack healthy snacks, nut butters, dried fruit (in moderation), healthy bars, Shakeology.  You get the drill.

Rule #3:  Workout Before Wine

This was one of the originals and still holds true.  Alcohol is a quick way to get a whole bunch of quick calories that shuts down your liver processing (actually, it prioritizes it).  You better have pushed yourself before you start doing 6 oz curls.

Rule #4:  Eat Your Veggies Early

Since I started paying attention to both portion control and total portions, I realized that I never get all of my veggies in unless I have at least one serving during breakfast.   I live for the omelet bar that can load up my omelet with spinach, mushrooms, tomatoes and especially jalapenos.  Of course I also get it with a side of bacon so don’t fret for me missing out.

Rule #5:  Taste the Rainbow

So in my original rules, I had one that centered around not eating brown food.  Truth be told, I still avoid it but that’s really not enough.  You need to eat all kinds of colors, including brown (just not a lot of brown).  Load up on the greens, the yellows, reds are fantastic and purples are usually out of this world good.  Just make sure the colors are from your actual food and not a lab somewhere

Rule #6:  Never Let a Rest Day be a Cheat Day

Pretty simple but needs to be said.  You can take a day off from working out.  You can take a day off from being on top of your nutrition.  You should never take a day off from both simultaneously.  Yep, even on vacation.  One or the other.  Pick (and refer back to rule #1)

Rule #6:  Have an ‘Healthy’ Obsession

Ever heard the phrase – “Idle hands are the Devil’s playground”?  I found this to be true with myself.  Presented with a lot of time alone on the road and nothing to really focus on, it is easy to fill that void with food, drink and a litany of other unhealthy obsessions.  So make a preemptive strike and fill it with something ‘healthy’.  A hobby you can take with you, a desire to learn, a series of books to devour.  You need something to intentionally fill the time or the unintentional quickly will.

Rule #7:  Know When to Break the Rules

There are times when some of the rules should be broken.  If you have spent all day on an airplane crossing an ocean, take the day off.  Focus on getting adjusted to the new time.  If you have meetings all day after a plane flight and a client dinner after that – do your best but don’t kill yourself.  You can miss a day.  Even two but never let a third day go by before getting back to where you need to be.

So there you go.  The newest iteration of RoadWarriorFit’s rules for living a healthy life on the road.  Are there other guardrails I put in place?  You bet.   But I will save those for another post.

About Me, Family, Fitness, health, healthy living, My Favorite Things, Spirit, Uncategorized

“Just tell your story.”

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Over the course of the last couple of years, I have had several people tell me that they think Joy and I need to tour the country and speak to people.  Tell our story to the world.  Inspire others.

Well this morning I got the privilege of doing something I have always wanted to do, deliver a motivational speech to a group of folks who have no idea who I am.  Now, I am not in the public speaking business and don’t really have any intention of getting in it but I do know how to speak in front of people.  I do it all the time and I can assure you that unlike the majority of Americans, speaking in front of people is not my greatest fear.  In fact, I might be more comfortable with that type of conversation than a 1 on 1 with a new acquaintance.

So the question you should be asking right now is:

“How did this happen?  How did a group of sane individuals think of you to deliver a motivational message?” 

I know I have asked it a hundred times since I was first asked.

Well, from what I understand, it involved a lot of wine, someone who has an over inflated view of my ability to inspire, a low budget and the need to send some serious love to a group of leasing professional who have been working their tails off for the last year or so.

Enter:  Andrew Bowen – Motivational Speaker

So being dedicated to my craft, I was sure to have a couple of calls with the leaders of this group to find out what message they needed delivered to this team.   Through a lot of dialog that resembled a ping pong match:

Me:  “What message would you like me to deliver?”

Them: “I don’t know, what do you normally deliver?”

Me: “I normally deliver a sales pitch but I doubt that is the message you want.  I can put together anything for you.”

Them: “We just need them to be recharged.   Why don’t you just relate your story?”

And there it was….”your story”.

Those words came up time and time again over the course of the week or so we discussed the message we needed to delivery.  Just tell my story.

Do you have any idea how exposed you feel when the inspirational message is your own story?

What if they are not inspired?  Well it is your story so obviously you are un-inspirational.

What if they find no value in it?  Well obviously you are worthless.

What if they find it a waste of time?  That speaks for itself, you are a waste of time.

So for the last several weeks I have been going through “my story” in my head.  Rehashing it all over and over again so the delivery would be smooth this morning.   Rehashing it until I developed a theme.  “Life on the Line”

This morning came and I drove to the event, ready to share my story.

I shared stories about getting started in student housing

I shared stories about feeling overweight and listless

I shared about a black belt test gone wrong

I shared about breast cancer

I shared about learning from all of it and focusing our efforts on empowering others to live their healthiest lives

Was I inspirational?  I don’t know, you would have to ask the audience but I will say this, it felt great to own my own story.  So go ahead, go tell your story.

Diet, Family, Fitness, health, healthy living, My Favorite Things, Recipes, RoadWarrior, Uncategorized

My Meal-prep Dirty Little Secret

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So I can’t remember the last week that we actually ate all of the food I prepped on Sunday.  Invariably – life happens.

A teen’s event was not planned for.  A worship meeting goes long.  An opportunity to roll presents itself.  Something happens that prevents us from eating what is in the fridge and dictates that we are going to grab something from a restaurant somewhere.

Every.

          Single.

                      Week.

So when for the 3rd week in a row I was about to throw out baked sweet potatoes and chopped peppers, I decided to find a new way to utilize these staples of our week.

Enter:  Sweet Potato Bird’s Nests

These take a bit longer than I would like since the potatoes I use are already baked and take a while to crisp up like I like them but they are awesome.  I will definitely be making these regularly and for sure will do this with a sweet potato hash as well.   Video and the recipe are below.

See the Video Here

Ingredients:

  • Pre-baked sweet potato (each potato yields approximately 4 “nests”)
  • Pre-diced Red Onion
  • Pre-diced Red Pepper
  • Pre-diced Green Pepper
  • Pre-diced Jalepeno Pepper
  • Extra virgin olive oil
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Eggs

Directions:

  1. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Spray a muffin pan with cooking spray.
  3. In a medium sauté pan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add the onion and peppers and sauté until onion is translucent but peppers are still crisp.img_3452
  4. In a medium mixing bowl, mash the sweet potatoes. Add salt, pepper and sautéed vegetables and mix well.                                                          img_3450
  5. Transfer a spoonful of sweet potato mixture to each muffin mold. Press the mixture up against the mold until it is approximately ¼ inch thick leaving a cavity for the egg (to be added later).
  6. Bake for 20 minutes then remove from oven.
  7. Adjust the oven to broil (still at 400 degrees)
  8. Crack one egg for every sweet potato being baked. Add egg to the cavity created by the mold.
  9. Place muffin pan back in oven. For soft yolk eggs remove after 6 minutes.  For hard yolk eggs, remove after 12 minutes.

You have probably noticed that I did not give quantities of potatoes and peppers.   Because this recipe was conceived around leftovers, whatever you have left over will determine how much to use.  You can always cut up more peppers to meet your potato supplies (like I did when I created this one).

img_3453

Diet, Fitness, health, healthy living, restaurant, restaurants, RoadWarrior, Travel, Uncategorized
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When you are in the business of helping people achieve their healthiest life, you spend a lot of time talking about food.  Now, it is one of my favorite subjects so I don’t mind at all but one thing that does drive me a bit nuts is hearing from folks that say;

“It’s just so hard to eat clean on the road!!”

Let me get this out there now – No it isn’t!!

It really all comes down to choices.  What choices?

The choice to eat ‘Clean’

We really do need to define what ‘Clean’ means but that is for another post.  In the meantime, you need to decide this before you ever leave for your departing flight.  If you commit to eating right before you ever leave, you are 100% more likely to actually do so (please note that I just completely made up that statistic).

Seriously though, making the decision in advance does dramatically improve your chances of actually following through.  You are much less likely to end up on the wrong side of the rest of these choices if you have already decided to eat clean.

The choice of where to eat:

This is huge.  A restaurant that specializes in grilled seafood is way more conducive to your commitment to clean eating than Burger King.  Sure it may mean that you need to drive a few miles out of your way rather than stumbling across the parking lot to Ruby Tuesdays but in the end it is worth it.

Pro-Tip: I have found that it is also easier to eat clean in the restaurant rather than your hotel room.  This includes take-out orders, which almost always end up wrong (and cold).

Pro-Tip 2:  The exception to the above Pro Tip is the grocery store.  The grocery store is a great option for picking up a clean meal you can take back to your room.

The choice of when to eat:

So I may be preaching to myself on this one but your food options at 11:00 PM are vastly different than at 7:00 PM.  Take that into account as you are planning your day.  Set yourself up for success rather than trying to figure out “Whatever is easy” as you hit your hotel at midnight.

The choice of how your food is prepared:

Grilled over fried.  Baked over sauteed.  Sauce on the side.  Rainbow of colors vs. monochromatic.  If you are trying to eat clean, you should already know most of this but every time you order anything, you have the choice.

However, with all of these choices, the most important one is the choice to not to accept the lie that eating clean is hard to do.  It really isn’t.  It just takes a bit of planning, being willing to order off the menu and the choice to make it a priority.

beachbody, Fitness, health, healthy living, RoadWarrior, Spirit, Uncategorized

“Work Harder” – Gary Vanyerchuk

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Have you ever heard a speaker, read a line in a book, listened to an interview or a podcast where someone said something that actually hit you square between the eyes?   Yeah, I figured you had.

This past weekend I got to hear Gary Vanyerchuk speak at conference for Beachbody Coaches.  If you don’t know who he is, Google him because his story is awesome but to summarize, he is on the cutting edge of social media branding.  The way he analyzes each platform for its strengths is right up my alley.

Once you know their strengths – play to their strengths.                              

In general his strategy is to make your content work as smart as possible.  It is not just about throwing content out there, it is throwing the right content that is designed to work on that specific platform.

Now with that background out there, what he said that punched me in the face had nothing to do with content, branding or social media.  His message could be boiled down to two words…….

Work Harder!!!!

C’mon??  Really??  I just finished reading 2 of your books and you are going to give me “Work Harder”!?!?.

Then he followed up those two words with this gem;

“It is actually against my best interest for each of you to succeed.  The more of you that put what I tell you into practice, the more expensive my ads become.  So why am I willing to tell you all my secrets?  Because 90% of you will never actually work harder!!”   – Gary Vanyerchuk

The thing is, he’s right.  The vast majority of the 25,000 or so people who heard that message will not put it into place.

“You don’t know how hard I work.  I already work really hard!!  How can I really work any harder?”

I lost track of how many times I heard this over the last 24 hours from conference attendees.

Honestly for me, I knew I could not push back against that line of reasoning.  I can work harder.  Harder on my relationships.  Harder on my fitness.  Harder on my diet.  Harder in my work.  Harder in my business.

I think what most people miss when they hear “Work Harder” is that the message is not necessarily “Work More”.  So what else can it mean?

Work Focused:

Be honest, how many times do you take out your phone to do something specific and end up perusing your Facebook news feed.  Or your Twitter feed?  Or Instagram?  There is a reason I put this one on the top of the list for me, I need to improve here.

Work Efficiently:

I want you to do something for me.  For the next week, keep track of how many times you are distracted from the task you are looking to accomplish and then track what is pulling you away?  Then ask some hard questions:

Am I setting myself up for this?

Is the environment conducive to getting stuff done or distracting?

Am I looking for distractions?

Am I trying to put tasks together that are polar opposites?

Mix it up:

Just like you may use Yoga as a way to practice active recovery on your “rest day” from working out, use things like personal development as a way to “take a break” from work.  I have been in the habit of doing my own personal development in the mornings.  I am going to experiment with splitting it and doing half in the afternoon/evening as a way to recharge.

Work with a sense of priority:

Here is something I am going to try in my daily life – just like I rank tasks A/B/C as to their priority in needing to get done, I am going to rank them in my desire for doing them.  I am not sure what it will look like just yet but my plan is to mix the tasks I like in with those I don’t so I can keep motivation going throughout the day.

So what does your “Work Harder” look like?  What area of your life would you change if you had a magic wand?   Guess what, you do.  It is called effort and it is the only thing you get to control in this life.

City Reviews, Diet, Fitness, health, healthy living, RoadWarrior, Travel, Uncategorized

Get the most out of your RealWorld Experience!!

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realworld

Yep, it is that time again already, the annual RealPage User Conference aka REALWORLD 2016!!!

Now this is going to be my 6th RealWorld Conference (how can that possibly be?).  For those not in the know, RealWorld is the conference specifically dedicated to RealPage and their partners where we showcase the latest developments in the industry, the product improvements being delivered/developed and most important, thank our partners for their continued partnership.  It is 3 days of networking, learning, previews and fun but let’s face it, it is also long days, longer evenings and tight schedules.  In order to make the most of the sessions and travel fit, you have to have a strategy to thrive.

This is also my 3rd year of providing a few of my tips and tricks to not just surviving the conference but really making the most of it for both education and fintess.  So here are my RealWorld rules to live by:

Tip #1: Plan ahead:

I know I say this every year but I cannot over emphasize this one enough; Failing to Plan is Planning to Fail.  If your plan is showing up at the conference and “figure it out” you are in for a rough time.……not going to happen.  There are just too many great options of sessions to attend and fellow RealPage users to meet.  If you don’t plan ahead you are guaranteed to miss a ‘can’t miss’ session and for sure your workout is not going to get done.

Realworldapp

So if you haven’t already, go download the RealWorld App right now.  Seriously, I’ll wait.

Now, immediately start adding your must attend sessions to your calendar.  Might I suggest ‘Stack the Deck with Business Intelligence’ on Tuesday morning as a starting point?  I hear the speaker for that one is sub-par but the material should be great!!

Once you know when your ‘Can’t miss’ sessions are, you can fill in the rest of the time slots for meetings, networking, product demos and down time.

Tip #2: Stay hydrated:

water bottle refill

You know you should normally be drinking 8 glasses of water a day.  Well , this year we are at the beautiful Wynn hotel.  If you have never been to a conference at this hotel, I will give you fair warning, it is a long way from the rooms to the conference center.  A LONG WAY!!  So you are going to be walking more than you normally do and potentially imbibing on an alcoholic drink or two in the evening, and oh yeah, this is all happening in the middle of the dessert.  I am going to recommend you up your water intake from the standard 8 glasses.  Trust me, you will thank me when you are waking up on days 2 & 3 of the conference.  Now this is where planning comes in again.  I find that it is a very rare thing to find a conference center that keeps the water pitchers/bottles full throughout the conference.

SO BRING YOUR OWN!!

You may not always be able to find a nice chilled bottle of FIJI but you can usually find a water fountain to fill up your own bottle.  And if you are anything like me, you find an empty water bottle strangely motivational.

Tip #3: Recharge:

weary traveler

This will look different for each of us but I find I need a point in my day to recharge more than just my phone.  For me, it is time in the gym.   I can get my head on straight and work all the kinks out that I am feeling from standing all day.  For others it is a power nap in the room, others it is 15 minutes in the sun out by the pool.  Whatever it is that recharges and helps your re-center your mindset, make sure you have time built in each day to accomplish it.

Now we also need to think about that phone, so don’t forget your mobile charger!  We want to hear your thoughts throughout the day (follow the hashtag #RWconf2016 to join the conversation).

Tip #4: Eat well & Eat often:

image

Make sure you take the time to eat like you should.  Do not sacrifice the quality of your diet because you need to rush somewhere.  Stop by the store on the way to the hotel and grab some snacks for the room (don’t get me started on the mini-bar options for $10 bucks each).  Put a bar in your purse.  Throw an apple in your bag for later in the day.  Your body needs fuel to thrive vs. survive.  Give it what it needs.

Bonus Tip:  Most hotels that host conferences have pretty good gyms.  Gyms where they actual stock fruit for the taking.

Tip #5: Have fun:

If this is your first RealWorld Conference, you are in for a treat.  It is a blast, especially the party on Monday night.  Although not themed this year, in the past we have celebrated the lives of people like Dr. Seuss or given our best superhero impersonation.

wolverine ABDr. Seuss

The party is a celebration of our partnership with all of you and we pull out all of the stops.  This year promises to be a lavish affair….even if Wolverine will not be showing up.

Bonus Tip #6:

For those of you who are runners (or are even thinking about running), I cannot recommend skipping the treadmill in the morning enough.  Running the Las Vegas strip in the early morning is in my top 5 runs in the country.

Seriously, the people watching is unbelievable!!!

In fact, even if you don’t run, wake up a bit early on Monday or Tuesday and head out for a walk.  I promise that not only will you feel better but you will have conversation topics for the rest of the day!!

Time for me to go pack and finish my presentations but hopefully I will see you at RealWorld!!

About Me, Fitness, health, healthy living, RoadWarrior, Spirit, Uncategorized

The Art of Aging Gracefully……Screw That!!!

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I am going kicking and screaming all the way……just being real.

I agree with Tony Horton who recently proclaimed to CNBC that Aging is for Idiots .  I see no reason to allow Father Time to have his way without the fight of his life.

Now with that said, I have had some recent reminders that I am not the young guy I used to be anymore.  For example, just a couple of weeks ago I heard the following statement while visiting a BJJ gym in LA:

IMG_2457

“Yeah, you’ve got that ‘Old Man Strength’”

What!?!?!  Old Man Strength!?!??!!  How about just ‘strength’? Then I took a long hard look around the mat and realized, I was the oldest on the mat by at least 5 years (OK, maybe 10).  That lead to the realization that I could count on two hands how many folks I had rolled with this year that have me beat in age.  How did this happen?  How am I suddenly the ‘old guy’?

Oh, and then there is work……

family

“I can’t believe you have a child that is driving!”

Not quite sure how to react to this one.  Is it because you can’t believe I could be old enough to have a 16 year old child?  Or is it because you cannot believe that my gene pool would be able to produce an offspring with the mental capacity to control a motor vehicle effectively?  I really hope it is the prior although the later certainly is in question.

And then there is Facebook….

wife

“When I grow up I want to be like you and your wife!”

This coming from a thirty-something fitness enthusiast.  You see, Joy and were both presented with the opportunity to audition for the next Beachbody Infomercial for The 21 Day Fix Extreme program by Autumn Calabrese, an opportunity we both jumped at.  So just us and 11,000 other Beachbody super fans are a part of a Facebook group where we regularly post specific assignments and encouragement.   Looking at the feed in this group is inspiring, motivational and humbling as well as a gut check.  You see in this group, I am definitely raising the median age (my wife however is ageless so she is having no affect ).

Why am I sharing all of this?  Because while aging chronologically is inevitable, how you age physically is absolutely a choice.  Not much is within our control any more; politics, economics, job stability, Brexit and the thoughts of others affect us daily but we have zero control over them.  What do you have control over?

  • What you feed your body – are you giving it whole foods in the right portions?
  • What you feed your mind – are you reading regularly? Does the subject matter challenge you?
  • Moving your body – You know the First Law of motion…..a body at rest tends to stay at rest, a body in motion tends to stay in motion. Be in motion – whatever that looks like for you.
  • Effort – Are you giving it everything you can?
  • Consistency – see that whole First Law of Motion thing above

So yeah, we all grow older but how we grow older is a choice.  I choose to embrace Old Man Strength and to control what I can and not place undue worry on what I can’t.  Now if I can just find someone to help me with my old man wardrobe…….

Family, Fitness, health, healthy living, Recipes, Uncategorized

Carrot Tortillas

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In my house, tacos are considered a gift from God.  My wife is pretty much convinced that the manna that God provided the Hebrews had to have been collected and then pan baked into nice round shapes.  Seriously….tacos are a big thing in this house.

However, so is the consumption of refined carbs….or better stated, the lack there of.

So what is a family to do?  We love spicy goodness wrapped in an edible delivery system (ponder on the genius of that for a few moments…..pause….pause….pause…..).

Enter:  The Carrot Tortilla!!!

I know what you are thinking.  I was too but trust me on this one, these are the best we have tried yet.  Don’t believe me?  Watch the taste off here:

DSC_0313

So here is how you make them:

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 Cup Grated Carrot
  • 1/2 Cup Water
  • 1/2 Cup Shredded Parmesan Cheese
  • 2 Eggs
  • 3 Tablespoons Coconut Flower
  • Salt & Pepper to Taste
  1. Wash, peel & grate carrots – OR – buy the shredded carrots from the grocery store and give them a rough cut like I do.
  2. Place the carrots in a microwave safe bowl and add water (recipe is 1/2 cup but you are really looking to get them covered in the bowl, the amount really doesn’t matter).  Microwave on high for 5 minutes.DSC_0287
  3. Drain and dry the carrots.  Use a dishtowel or cheese cloth to squeeze extra water out.  The drier you can get these the better they will turn out.
  4. Place all ingredients in a bowl and mix well.  Tip: just use your hands and get dirty.  It is by far the best way to get the ingredients incorporated.DSC_0293
  5. Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees and line a backing sheet with parchment paper that has been sprayed with non-stick spray.
  6. Spread carrot mixture into approximately 6 inch round ‘tortillas’ that are approximately 1/4 inch think (Note: these don’t rise or spread at all during cooking so however you spread them is pretty much how they will come out).
  7. Bake for 12 minutes, flip them once and bake for another 12 minutes.
  8. At this point you can eat them right away, lay them over a rack to allow them cool into the shape of a hard taco or store in the fridge for up to 5 days.  If you store in the fridge, I highly suggest heating them up again in a small frying pan to get them warm and a bit crunchy again.

So there you have it, our solution to not being able to eat tacos without all the refined carbs!!

Family, health, healthy living, RoadWarrior, Spirit, Travel

How does your wife deal with it?

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I get that question a lot.  Especially from women who learn how much I travel.  So today, on our 20th wedding anniversary, I am asking myself that same question:

How have we done it?  How have we made it work for 20 years when others haven’t?

Our marriage has not been the most conventional (no, not like that).  Since the time we were first married, we have spent significant amounts of it apart.  Even as far back as our first year of marriage, I was working in Los Angeles while she was down in San Diego.  And back then we did not even share the same days off.  We were constantly ships passing in the night as one of us was always driving up or down the California coast to spend time with each other.  Since then, I have basically spent the better part of 3 months each year in hotel rooms away from my family.

So as I have been thinking about what it takes to make a marriage successful among the crazy demands of business travel, I keep coming back to the same six things……..

Take time to understand their Love Language:

If you are not familiar with the concept of the 5 love languages, I suggest you stop reading this and immediately click here.  This was probably the most impactful self-development exercise I did when it comes to the impact on our marriage.  Understanding how Acts of Service speaks to Joy and literally says “I love you” to her changed the way I look at tasks around the house.  Which brings me to….

 Embrace the ‘Honey-do’ list:

Did you catch that Joy’s love language is Acts of Service?  That means that when I get stuff done around the house, she feels valued and loved.  So if there is a research project that needs done, I will do it on a plane.  I try and get stuff accomplished around the house on the weekends.  I love to check things off of lists and she loves to put things on lists.  It works for us.

When you are home – put them first:

I love to golf.  I don’t play golf.

I would train all day everyday on a martial arts mat.  I limit myself to only classes I do with my boys.

These are things that fuel and refresh me but THEY TAKE TIME!!!  I have pontificated on this before but when I am home, I vehemently protect that time.  I can train on the road.  I can work late on the road.  I can only spend time with my family, specifically my spouse, while I am at home.

Set them up for success:

Part of my weekly weekend ritual is to set my wife and kids up for success for the week.  That means getting meals planned out, buying the groceries, meal prepping, making sure laundry is done, projects are completed and ready to be turned in, schedules are clear for the next week, and so on, and so on and so on.  The weeks that are the most stressful on all of us are the ones where I fail to plan for the week.  My job is to provide and more than just a paycheck.

Hide all evidence of travel:

When I get home I tend to unpack right away.  Not because I am super diligent about processing my laundry but because if I leave my suitcase out all weekend it serves as a constant reminder that I have either been gone all week or will be gone all week.  Unpack quickly and pack at the last minute.

Communicate:

This one was the hardest one for me to learn.  Seems silly but for years I would wait till the last minute to let my wife know I was going to be traveling.  She would consistently get mad when I was leaving so if I left it to the very last minute, I got to enjoy a few more days of ‘happiness’.  This does not work.  Communicate early.  Communicate often.  Communicate regularly.  Call, text, email, skywriting……communicate.

Now please understand, developing these habits was a process.  There have been times when I have been incredibly selfish.  When I didn’t put her and the kids first and inevitably, our largest fights have been centered around those times.  Also, I think this list can be applied to any marriage and approaching what separates you.  For us, it happens to be literal distance.  For others, it may just be time.

So hopefully this list will help you and your spouse survive the pitfalls of business travel, whether you have a short season of travel or whether you become a salty veteran like me.

See you on the road!!