Tag Archives: life lessons

“Work Harder” – Gary Vanyerchuk

Have you ever heard a speaker, read a line in a book, listened to an interview or a podcast where someone said something that actually hit you square between the eyes?   Yeah, I figured you had.

This past weekend I got to hear Gary Vanyerchuk speak at conference for Beachbody Coaches.  If you don’t know who he is, Google him because his story is awesome but to summarize, he is on the cutting edge of social media branding.  The way he analyzes each platform for its strengths is right up my alley.

Once you know their strengths – play to their strengths.                              

In general his strategy is to make your content work as smart as possible.  It is not just about throwing content out there, it is throwing the right content that is designed to work on that specific platform.

Now with that background out there, what he said that punched me in the face had nothing to do with content, branding or social media.  His message could be boiled down to two words…….

Work Harder!!!!

C’mon??  Really??  I just finished reading 2 of your books and you are going to give me “Work Harder”!?!?.

Then he followed up those two words with this gem;

“It is actually against my best interest for each of you to succeed.  The more of you that put what I tell you into practice, the more expensive my ads become.  So why am I willing to tell you all my secrets?  Because 90% of you will never actually work harder!!”   – Gary Vanyerchuk

The thing is, he’s right.  The vast majority of the 25,000 or so people who heard that message will not put it into place.

“You don’t know how hard I work.  I already work really hard!!  How can I really work any harder?”

I lost track of how many times I heard this over the last 24 hours from conference attendees.

Honestly for me, I knew I could not push back against that line of reasoning.  I can work harder.  Harder on my relationships.  Harder on my fitness.  Harder on my diet.  Harder in my work.  Harder in my business.

I think what most people miss when they hear “Work Harder” is that the message is not necessarily “Work More”.  So what else can it mean?

Work Focused:

Be honest, how many times do you take out your phone to do something specific and end up perusing your Facebook news feed.  Or your Twitter feed?  Or Instagram?  There is a reason I put this one on the top of the list for me, I need to improve here.

Work Efficiently:

I want you to do something for me.  For the next week, keep track of how many times you are distracted from the task you are looking to accomplish and then track what is pulling you away?  Then ask some hard questions:

Am I setting myself up for this?

Is the environment conducive to getting stuff done or distracting?

Am I looking for distractions?

Am I trying to put tasks together that are polar opposites?

Mix it up:

Just like you may use Yoga as a way to practice active recovery on your “rest day” from working out, use things like personal development as a way to “take a break” from work.  I have been in the habit of doing my own personal development in the mornings.  I am going to experiment with splitting it and doing half in the afternoon/evening as a way to recharge.

Work with a sense of priority:

Here is something I am going to try in my daily life – just like I rank tasks A/B/C as to their priority in needing to get done, I am going to rank them in my desire for doing them.  I am not sure what it will look like just yet but my plan is to mix the tasks I like in with those I don’t so I can keep motivation going throughout the day.

So what does your “Work Harder” look like?  What area of your life would you change if you had a magic wand?   Guess what, you do.  It is called effort and it is the only thing you get to control in this life.

Lessons from a near death experience….

So Facebook was kind enough today to remind me that four years ago on this day, I was testing for my black belt in American Karate.  It was a night that I do not remember and one that I will never forget.  That was the night I discovered I had an Atrial Flutter.  It was a night that started a week long hospital stay that included medically induced comas, CAT scans, EKGs and eventually a cardiac ablation (want the full story?  Read it here).

“You do realize you almost died, right?”    –     Dr. Kevin Wheelan

Even though I had just awoken from a 36 hour medically induced nap, couldn’t remember large sections of the previous 48 hours, had two black eyes and was sore everywhere – the severity of my situation did not really hit me until I heard my cardiologist reinforce those words.

The days are now few and far between when I do not think about how lucky I was to survive.  They are also few and far between that I do not think about the lessons that experience taught me.

Prioritize your health:  If I had not made a specific effort in the 18 months leading up to the test, I firmly believe I would not be here today (did you read the link above?).  The majority of the leading causes of death in America are due to preventable diseases that can be controlled/prevented through diet and exercise……so DIET AND EXERCISE!!!

Listen to your body:  If I had not been so hard headed and determined to do whatever it took to get my black belt, I would not have ended up in the hospital.  I knew early on in my test that something was off.  I think I even knew a couple of weeks before that during one of my training sessions.  If I had really listened to my body, I would have had it checked out.

Pay attention to what you fuel it with:  One of the questions that the medical staff asked me repeatedly was did I fuel up with Monster or Red Bull or place energy drink name here.  They only asked me about drugs once.  That crap puts people in the hospital regularly, I avoid it like the plague.

Prepare for the worst:  I have been fortunate to have good guidance on planning for the inevitable.  If I had not made it, Joy and the boys would have been taken care of.  However, not everyone is in that boat.  If you aren’t, get there.  We are not promised tomorrow but we are promised that those around us will have to carry on.  Take care of them.

Bonus learning – If you are in the Dallas area, immediately go to www.lifefight.org and become a member.  Should you or anyone in your family ever need their services, you will thank me.  We spent months of effort and thousands of dollars avoiding a huge medical bill that is completely avoidable.  Think of it like AAA for your family should they ever need air ambulance service.

Pray like it depends on Him:  Between this event, Joy’s Breast Cancer diagnosis, Tyler’s Papilledema and Charlie’s depression, we have learned to pray in earnest around here.  My prayer life got immensely deeper as I recovered and gave thanks daily.   With it came a deeper peace I had not experienced to that point in my life.  Pray like it depends on Him…….because it does.

Now are those the only things that I learned, of course not, but they are the ones that have stuck with me and I think about almost daily.  Knocking on deaths door will change you.  Hopefully I can have done enough knocking for all of us to learn the lessons.

So you are thinking about starting martial arts? 10 things I wish I had known earlier in my journey.

So you (or maybe your spouse) are considering studying a martial art, congratulations!!  I can honestly say that the first day I bowed on to a mat legitimately changed my life and put me on a path I never expected to embark upon.

After more than a decade of training in multiple martial arts,  there are a few lessons that I’ve learned that would have been good to know before going all in.   If you are just getting started or considering a martial art, here are my top 10 things to expect that might not be so obvious.  If you are an experienced martial artist, I hope you agree and feel free to add-on in the comments.

Soap

1) This is not Fight Club.

The first rule of Fight Club may have been to never talk about Fight Club but if you really get bit by the martial arts bug, you will not be able to shut up about it.  My poor wife has heard more stories about spinning hook kicks, slip step-under counter hooks and triangle chokes than she knows what to do with.  Be sure to keep that in mind before you jump headlong into another story about how so and so did what and what.

do you want to do a workout

2) You will want to train – all the time.

I would train or teach all day every day if I could.  Perfection is impossible but the pursuit of perfection is available to all.  You’ll find yourself looking to attend multiple classes each week, participating in ‘open mat’ and looking for others to help you improve.   Trust me, it is completely addicting in all the right ways.

CT BB

3) Martial arts is a small, tight knit and supportive family.

For a long time I had the picture above from my son’s black belt test as the wallpaper on my computer.  He is landing a beautiful spinning hook kick and stopping his partner cold.  Now with my job, I am all over the country doing presentations and projecting my computer on big screens in multiple offices every week.  As soon as any martial artist saw the picture, there was an immediate connection.  Questions would immediately turn to his training, my training, rank, passion, training methods and goals.  Heck, I have even spared with some of my clients as I have traveled to their offices.

4) Your Laundry will never be in balance again.

Seriously people, this is an issue I was not anticipating and one my wife hates.   Think about it.  Gis are made from really thick cotton to avoid rips, tears, etc.  It is like having 3 towels in the wash that have to be on the same side of the washer.  Now imagine that in our house with 3 of us (14, 16 & 43) all actively training multiple sessions a week.  It just never stops and the washing machine continually sounds like a jackhammer.

5) There is a reason that martial artists say they “study” and “train”.

If you come across someone who says they  ‘do’ Jujitsu or karate or whatever, you have come across someone who really hasn’t evolved into a martial artist yet (and your belt rank has nothing to do with whether or not you are a martial artist).  To be successful in the martial arts, you really do have to study and train.  You have to study the techniques to understand their effectiveness and when to apply them.  You have to train your body to react to the opportunity without thinking.  I have spent hours on YouTube learning the principals of a technique (study) followed by hours on a mat applying them in an actual situation (train).  I stopped ‘doing’ karate a long time ago.

6) You will always be ‘hurt’.

I don’t remember the last day I was not sore somewhere.  Now please understand, I am not talking about being injured.  That happens pretty rarely in a well-run school environment – there is a difference between martial arts and fighting.  However being sore is routine and an important part of the martial arts lifestyle.  In fact, I have never been as sore as I was the day after my first Jujitsu session.  Soreness indicated weakness and weaknesses can be strengthened through studying and training.

triangle

7) You learn to embrace the suck.

Real progress is made when you put yourself in positions that are challenging to you and you work to improve.  I refer to this process as “suck training”.  As a beginner that may be continually letting your partner jab at you until you can slip the jab.  On the ground, let someone take your back and sink a choke in and then work your way out (this is not for your first day however).  You will fail a lot in these situations but that is the point.  Fail less tomorrow than you did today and fail in different ways than you failed previously.

black eye.jpg

8) People love black eyes – just not receiving them.

I get a black eye or two every year.  Even as a black belt, I occasionally forget to keep my hands up and my partner slips in a great technique or I simply fall the wrong way.  It is simply a part of the beautiful dance we are performing.  What cracks me up is how people outside of martial arts react.  They either want to know every detail and are fascinated by my participation or they are scared to death to ask anything and assume I have some type of sorted past or had a run in with the wrong kind of crowd.  I find both reactions hilarious.

9) Higher level belts practice offense by destroying lower level belts – just slowly.

A really good black belt can execute her techniques at full speed without hurting her partner.  She can also slow it down so that their partner can learn to feel what is going on without losing technique.  As a black belt, when I am sparing a lower belt, I am typically picking a single technique to focus on and do so in a way that will also teach them something (like keep your hands up!!)  Lesson here for beginners – you want to spar the black belts!!!

10) Lower level belts learn defense (aka survival) by being destroyed by higher level belts.

I will never forget the first time I countered a superman punch effectively.  I had been getting caught for weeks with the technique and it was driving me nuts.  In the round it happened in, I was clearly ‘losing’ the round but in my mind, I had won because my goal was to slip the superman punch and I had accomplished it.  If I had been sparing another brown belt at the time, they would not even be throwing that technique.  Lesson here for beginners – you want to spar the black belts!!

smell.jpg

11) Bonus for families that train together – what happens on the mat does not stay on the mat.

Nothing makes my wife more frustrated than when random grappling matches break out in the living room.  Or when someone ends up in a kimura on the couch.  Or when turning a corner someone eats a round kick to the face.  Our house is a virtual mine field of martial arts techniques and I absolutely love it.

I hope the list above gives you a little more insight into the journey you are embarking upon and welcome to the martial arts family.  The destination is absolutely worth the journey.  Oss!!

Not all travel is equal. How Hurricane Katrina changed this RoadWarrior’s perspective

Ten years ago Hurricane Katrina made land fall and was on a collision course for The Big Easy, New Orleans.  Millions of people were rushing to I-10 to find a way out of the area.  Thousands were holding firm and about to get a rude awakening as Lake Pontchartrain would no longer be held back by its levees.

The date was August 29th and I found myself on I-10 as the only civilian vehicle participating in a caravan of Red Cross vans, Power Company repair trucks and tree trimming companies heading in to Louisiana as millions were trying to get out.  Basically, anyone who could make a buck off of the impending disaster was heading east from Houston and everyone else was heading west.  I had no idea what a life changing event I was driving towards.  Experiencing the aftermath and the human stories of Katrina changed the way I looked at our society, our government, charity and those receiving it.

Reality sinks in:

About 2.5 hours in to the 4 hour drive from Houston to Baton Rouge, I realized that I was literally the only non-emergency service provider headed east.  It was a very surreal moment.  One that made me question what I actually did for a living at the time.  I provided fully furnished corporate apartments for business travelers and families relocating, at least most of the time.  However natural disasters, hurricanes in particular, create a unique area of opportunity for that segment of business.  My goal was to get as close to New Orleans as possible, rent as many apartments as possible and somehow figure out who will be staying there (that is usually the easy part actually).

Once I got within 30 miles of Baton Rouge, things began to change dramatically.  Trees were down everywhere.  Nothing had power.  The radio signal from the local stations was intermittent.  Cars were on the side of the road where they decided to either wait the storm out or ran out of gas depending on the situation.  Parking lots of gas stations were full with families who had no other place to “camp” for the night.  I was heading into a refugee camp.

The first 48 hours:

Like everyone in Baton Rouge those first few hours, I think I was in shock, I was in “Get it Done” mode for the first 48 hours.  It was a whirlwind of driving from apartment community to apartment community looking for available units.  All phones were down during that time, no one had power and the internet was not nearly what it is today which meant that if you wanted to rent an apartment, you had better be at their office door…..with a check.  I managed to do my job well and secured about 200 apartments across Baton Rouge.  I never even made it close to NOLA as the highways were closed by LA State Troopers just south of the city.  Troopers who did not take very kindly to me wanted to drive around their barriers via side streets to “go rent apartments”.

I was fortunate that I had gone in prepared for what I thought would be the ‘worst’.  Those first few days I lived off of peanut butter sandwiches, granola bars, apples and bottled water that I had brought in with me.  The back of the Explorer was packed like I was heading in for a camping trip…because I basically was.  I “slept” in the back of my car as there was not a room to be had.  Truth be told, the families displaced from Katrina needed the space more than I did anyways.

It was during this time that I learned what texting was and how to do it.  You could not have any type of a phone conversation but if your phone got a signal for 30-seconds, text messages would arrive and send.  They became my lifeline to the outside world.

“First responders” arrive:

I spent the first night that week in sleeping in the back of my Ford Explorer.  The next few nights were on the floor of a vacant apartment that I had rented that fortunately for me, had power and air conditioning.  By the time Friday (day 6) rolled around, I had finally secured a hotel room in Baton Rouge.  It was here that my most frustrating local moment occurred.  As I was checking in to the Sheraton, the first bus of FEMA “First Responders” was rolling up to check in as well.  I was furious.  It literally took everything in me not to tee off on these folks.  I had managed to get here nearly a week earlier than these “first responders”, families were going hungry, McDonald’s had managed to restock their stores (at one point, they literally could only make hamburgers as they were out of everything else, including fries) but our government’s first response was just arriving after 5 full days?

The Good:

Let’s start with the good I saw during this tragedy.  On two different occasions I saw displaced families being adopted while shopping at a WalMart.  Families who were literally trying to figure out how they were going to prepare the little food they could acquire being told by the family in front of them that they would not have to sleep in their car that night.  That they would be the guests of the random family they had never met but now would call them host.  It was by far the best thing I saw through this tragedy, the not so random acts of kindness between families who were sharing an experience of sheer devastation.  It was His love in action and it was beautiful.

At the time of Katrina my boys were 5 & 3 and both playing baseball.  I was the head coach for both teams and I knew I had to somehow make this a bit more real for these kids and their families.  My employer at the time was offering to double any donation we made to the American Red Cross.  For one Saturday, our boys and their families manned a lemonade stand at the ball fields to raise money for the ARC.  For one Saturday of hard work and sweat, those your 3 & 5 year old boys raised over $2,000 for the hurricane relief.  I hope they still remember that they can and do make a difference.

The Bad: 

I saw looting of stores.  I saw young children crying, just wanting to get out of the heat of the Louisiana summer.  I heard neighbor screaming at neighbor over their position in line waiting for gasoline.  I was called all the names you can imagine when some folks found out I was renting blocks of apartments for “companies” to use but the most disheartening was the same night I saw the first responders roll in.  After 6 long days, I decided to blow off a bit of steam by heading down to the casino.  As I walked in, I saw a woman who had just gotten her FEMA relief check cashing it at the casino cage and heading to gamble.  I have no idea if she won or lost but I could not stick around after that.

The Indifferent:

Surprisingly, the hardest circumstance for me to deal with through this process was returning back to Dallas after a week of being immersed in the devastation of Katrina.  I was literally angry at those who could just go about their day.  I remember my church put together a food/water/clothing/cash drive to help the refugees who had displaced to DFW.  As I served in the donation line I got more and more disheartened with every fresh faced soccer mom who did not have the time to even get off the cell phone as we unloaded the token case of water from the back of her suburban.  I know now that this was a me thing and the folks who did give should be honored and treasured.  They did not have to do anything (and several didn’t) but at the time it felt like so little.  Much like what I can only imagine a war veteran experiences, I felt like I needed to go back and do more.

After that first week of chaos, I spent a great deal more time in Baton Rouge as we hosted over 100 families displaced from the ExxonMobil refinery in St. George’s parish as well as over 70 FEMA employees brought into the area to oversee the long term recovery efforts.  It is from these folks that I saw the real heart of the people of Louisiana.  Say what you want about the “evil oil companies” but I have personally witnessed the incredible way ExxonMobil took care of their folks and to this day still go out of my way to buy  my gas from them.  Housing their families that were displaced, bussing the employees to and from the plant since most had lost their vehicles as well as their homes, basically setting up an entire city so the families could handle the business of getting their lives back together – ExxonMobil went above and beyond what I witnessed from any other company.

My absolute favorite memory of the entire 2+ years I spent housing folks displaced from Katrina occurred about 2 weeks after the storm had moved through.  Getting items in to Baton Rouge was a challenge so we were furnishing the apartments for ExxonMobil families as we could.  As items were delivered to us, we would get them dispersed to the apartments.  Every day we would get another item and every day, there were men and women who would join us in delivering night stands, lamps, kitchen ware, whatever to everyone’s apartment.

Understand, we were paid to deliver these items but the wanted to help and to stand on their own again.

I remember it was a Wednesday morning when a very special truck pulled in.  Those of us who were organizing things knew what was on the truck but did not think twice about it.  It pulled in like any other and we swung open the doors to the audience we normally had……all the kids who had been displaced.  When they saw what was inside they erupted in joy, singing and dancing.  The TV’s had arrived.  In a weird way, that was when I knew they were going to be OK.  Things would eventually get back to a new normal.  The TV’s had arrived, and life was good.

Happy Birthday!!! – A year’s worth of blogging lessons

It is hard for me to believe but today marks the 1 year anniversary of the very first post on RoadWarriorFit.net.  I remember posting with a very specific goal in mind, providing a resource for travelers who want to put their fitness and health at the forefront of their travels.  What it has ended up being?   A completely hot mess and a total work in progress.

There are definitely a few things I have learned over the past 12 months that I want to share with all potential bloggers.  These are the things I wish someone had told me that I would learn over the first year so go ahead and do them now.

Just write: 

When I began the prep work for this blog, I had all kinds of ideas of categories for posts.  Reality has been that it has been a random collection of my thoughts and observations over the last year.  Candidly, I think it has turned out for the better that I did not stick to the ‘script’ but the key to that evolution has been to just write.  Some topics never see the light of day but none the less, you need to write.

Sometimes you have to break the rules: 

One of my first blog posts was on the Guardrails that every RoadWarrior needs to have in place in order to keep yourself true on the road.  When it comes to writing blogs though, see lesson number 1.  Write, write, write.  Rules be damned.   Don’t worry about which ‘tag’ you haven’t written for in the last month or that the content on this ‘tab’ is stale.  Just write.

Get a Swedish Fitness Model/blogger to follow your blog early:

fitness on toast

So I have no idea how this happened but very early on, I had a Swedish Fitness model and blogger follow my blog (you can see her posts at Fitness on Toast – I recommend it, I actually really have enjoyed following her travels).  I think it actually may have been my post on the motivating factor of an empty water bottle that attracted her attention.  Regardless, it has led to a slew of attention from the European Fitness Fashionista/Blogger set and I would like to specifically thank FitnessonToast, Alys, Akvilee, faceandfortune, The Keen Peach and others for their support.  If I believe my own hype, I am actually a big deal among the European fitness and fashion blog set and I chose to believe my own hype.

Laugh at yourself:

SNL 1

My second most read post, and by far my most popular based on Twitter/Facebook, was about #snowleopardpants.  They have fueled a fantastic date night, raised thousands of dollars for Love Is Louder Than Cancer and taught me the hard lesson of not internet shaming anyone for their fashion choices.  However they never would have shown their power if I was not willing to completely release all pride and let the #snowleopardpants power shine through.

Share the real you: 

People read posts that reflect your actual experiences, not the ones you wish you had.  My original idea of posting a variety of workouts you can perform that conform to the resources available to you at various levels of hotel standard has still not materialized.  Drinking more water at conferences?  Two posts, hundred plus reads and counting.  The story of how Being fit nearly killed me?  By far the most popular and most read.

Study your stats: 

I know that if I post on Wednesday, you are the most likely to read this.  On Monday…not a chance, which is ironic considering that our anniversary is falling on a Monday so I have to honor the date.  Oh well, here is to re-blogging on Wednesday.

Don’t obsess over your numbers: 

OK – this one may just be me preaching to me but you can’t obsess over how many followers/likes/page views you have.  It is not healthy.  You need to blog for you not for the followers.  That being said, thank you for clicking on all of the links here so I can obsess further on why you clicked on how I nearly died but didn’t on combining sightseeing with your travel.

Enjoy the evolution: 

RoadWarriorFit.net is nothing like I thought it would be when I started this.  Thanks to all of you and your feedback, it is so much better.

So thank you.  Thank you for letting me process this crazy life on the road.  Thank you for ‘listening’ to my occasional rant.  Thank you for providing me with the accountability loop necessary to keep myself on track while on the road.  And most importantly, thank you for sharing the journey with me.

Here is to another year of travel, fitness, diet, health and wellness.  Looking forward to spending it with you.