Tag Archives: planes

Dont be THAT Guy!!!

I don’t know what has been up over the last few weeks but I have been running into some real pieces of work on my travels recently. I am sure you know the types of people I am talking about, the folks who we share the road with who just need to let a few things go and get their priorities back in order.  Who do I mean?  I mean folks like;

two-businessman-talking-on-phone-at-urinals

Cellphone talking in the bathroom guy:

OK, what can possibly be so important that you cannot either a) pause the conversation and call them back or b) put them on mute?  I will never understand the gentleman at the urinal talking about his weekend to his friend while relieving himself.  Really?  I am always sure to flush a couple extra times just to be sure the person on the other end knows exactly where this guy takes his calls from.  However please understand, this guy is completely different from Guy who goes to the bathroom in the Middle of a Conference Call.

gate crowding

Needs to be first guy:

Every flight I ever take, literally every single one, there is at least one and usually a group of people who are in Group 4 or 5 of the boarding process who line up at the gate before the plane has even arrived.   I guess they think that by being at the gate early that they will be able to board earlier.  My favorite are the ones who when the gate agents call for the elite level travelers to board, join right in, only to be immediately cast aside and made to wait in front of all for their “appropriate boarding group”.   All the while, clogging the 2 foot wide pathway to get to the jet bridge.  Not so ironically, these are usually the folks I also see falling into our next category.

Refuses to put anything under his seat guy:

I get it, you bought a ticket just like everyone else on the plane and yes, you have the “right” (show me in The Constitution where overhead space is protected) to put your stuff up above but if all you have is a bag from the HMS Host store in the boarding area, put under your feet in front of you.  Seriously people.

Oh and by the way, you are not allowed to complain about either the boarding process or the deplaning process if you choose to place everything overhead.  You are the reason that one person who has a CPAP machine in their bag or the person in 7F who placed their bag above 33D is holding up the process.

it will fit

Mr. Spatially Unaware:

So this version actually comes in two varieties.  The first is the one who has no concept of how geometry works.  This is usually best displayed as they attempt to place a 9x14x22 inch bag into a 3x7x22 inch space.  No really, keep trying.  I am sure you can make it fit.  Much like this guy

The second version is the guy who does not understand that the arm rest actually represents the type of force field between your seat and mine.  It should be treated like a kindergartner treats the “lava” if they fall of the carpet.  It is to be avoided at all costs.  Of course the one who really takes the cake in this category is Mr. I am Going to use your Shoulder as a Pillow Guy (yep, it really has happened) much like this classic

Married to my seat guy:

So I saved my personal pet peeve for last.  That is the person that is so attached to their seat that they are unwilling to move for any reason.  I was recently on a flight where a father and his 5 year old son were assigned to two window seats IN FIRST CLASS that were not in the same row.  The gentlemen in the aisle seats of both of the rows refused to relocate.  Let me remind you, THIS WAS TO ANOTHER FIRST CLASS SEAT!!!  I literally could not believe it.  I turned to the gentlemen next to me after seeing this dad settle his barely grade school aged son in the row behind him and asked “Are you married to that seat?” – fortunately he was already thinking exactly what I was thinking.  We immediately gave up our row so this father and son could sit together.

RoadWarriors please here me.  If you see a family separated on the plane, regardless of the seat assignment, if you can switch and make it better for them, DO IT and yes, I have sat middle in coach so families can sit together.  I feel so deeply about this I think we should start a Whitehouse.org petition to make it a Federal Law.

The lesson in all this?  Well, Pope Francis got an ovation on the floor of Congress for mentioning it, you may know it as the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you.  Christ told us the greatest commandment was to love one another as he loved us.  Somehow I do not see Jesus saying – “Nope, I need the window seat”.  Now to be fair, he would probably make every seat a window seat but that is a whole other post.

So how about you RoadWarriors?  Who are some of the people I forgot to include on the list?

Here is to hoping you are able to avoid them all on your travels.

Bad travel hobbies and Harper Lee

What you should be asking yourself right now is “What does the beloved author of ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ and travel hobbies have anything to do with each other?” – I am so glad you asked.

No matter how productive you are on the road, there is still significant downtime you have to fill somehow.  You are always going to run into the situation where you can’t make a call, not enough time to make powering up the laptop worthwhile or quite frankly, you are just done with it and need to do something else.  This is the time that most folks fall back on their hobbies.  Those time fillers that also help to sooth the soul and restore the mind.  For my son it is streaming game play on Twitch, for my wife – streaming TED talks and fitness advice, for my Mother-in-Law it is knitting.  I on the other hand have some bad travel hobbies.

When I really analyze it, I have four hobbies – and none of them are conducive to the travel lifestyle:

Bad Travel Hobby #1 – Martial Arts: 

I actively practice American Karate and have just started my study of Brazilian Jui Jitsu.   Now I will actively admit that there are times when I can get out and roll as I travel but for the most part, it is a hobby (lifestyle) that I  practice only when I am at home.  I watch videos and study the arts while I am on the road but the reality is the only way for me to get better is to get out and participate.  As I am writing this, it has been nearly 3 weeks since I stepped on a mat and I am Jonesing for my return.

Bad Travel Hobby #2 – Aquariums:

Way back in the day I wanted to be a Marine Biologist, so much so that I actually have degree in Aquatic Biology.  Well life happened along the way and I took an alternative direction but I have never lost my love for the water and aquariums. I have a reef tank in my house that about once a month looks great.  The reason it is only once a month?  You have to be present to take care of a tank the right way.  It takes time, attention, detailed monitoring and basically good old TLC to have a salt water reef tank really thrive.  That is really hard to do from 1000 miles away…even if you are staring at the ocean (osmosis is not that strong).

Bad Travel Hobby #3 – Gardening:

See everything above except think above the water line.  Every year I plant a garden on the side of the house.  Every year it starts off strong (before the TX heat really kicks in) and every year about this time, I watch it begin to wither away in 5 day increments when I get home.  I love getting my hands dirty and cooking with fruits of my labor but it really is a bad travel hobby.

Bad Travel Hobby #4 – Home Improvement:

I really do love working around the house and am pretty good with my hands but again, you actually have to be home to be able to work on the house. Watching DIY videos of the closet organization system you want to put in will not ever really get you any closer to actually putting in that closet organization system.

So how does Harper Lee fit in to your self-realization Mr. RoadWarriorFit?

Again – so glad you asked.  I recently saw that a publisher is releasing her little known manuscript that preceded To Kill A Mockingbird and it made me realize that I used to read.  A lot.

Before we had iPads that had every movie I have ever owned available and/or a Wikipedia page on anything I could ever want to know, I traveled with a book….or three.  I devoured Presidential biographies.  Read extensively on the Revolutionary War era and would consume business books like they were a part of the breakfast buffet at the hotel restaurant.

Somewhere a long the way my time filler shifted.

I am not even sure how or when it happened other than the introduction of the iPad.

I could now carry ALL of my books with me at once!!!

It was a wonderful theory but the application sucked.  I was distracted by games, email, movies and YouTube.  I lost my way and now time fillers are no longer productive they are actually destructive.

So here is my commitment, I am going to rekindle at least one good RoadWarrior habit – Reading.  The first book to put back on the list, the High School required reading list favorite, Harper Lee’s ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’.  I remember liking it well enough back then (unlike Catcher in the Rye) and maybe, just maybe, the southern tale of Atticus and Scout Finch will rekindle my friendship with my long lost friend, the book.

So what are your good RoadWarrior hobbies?  How do you fill time productively?

Can’t wait to hear and look forward to seeing you on the road.  I will be the one with the iPad actually reading.  If I’m not, you have full permission to call me out on it.